Sam Explains Metal Gear, Part 2: UM

SO PHANTOM PAIN IS WAY BETTER AND LONGER THAN I THOUGHT
UH
I'LL BEAT IT IN ONE OR TWO WEEKS??

Sam explains Metal Gear, Part 1

OH NO I MESSED UP IT'S SUNDAY OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BirthWRONG

First of all, before you read this piece, I beg you to (a, use Chrome, because duh, and (b, install this. Trust me.

Trainwreck more like PRETTY OKAY

Trainwreck was pretty okay.  I'm kind of angry that a combination of laziness and having a full-time job, which compliment one another surprisingly well, has made it the only movie I've actually seen in theaters this summer.  There was a movie with Charlize Theron as a post-apocalyptic feminist in the Australian outback fighting car armies and a guy with a guitar that shot fire and I'm going to have to wait for the blu ray.  But Amy Schumer making dick jokes, that I couldn't wait on!

Liveblog: Republican debate featuring Horrible Bug Monster

I KNOW IT'S TWO DAYS LATE WE DIDN'T GET FOX NEWS SO WE LITERALLY HAD TO TORRENT IT I DON'T CARE ANY MORE

So I'm going to do my best to live-blog this debate, despite several obstacles, including the fact that our torrent only has the first half of the debate, the fact that the debate aired two days ago, and the fact that everyone else has already live-blogged it, and probably better than me.  HOWEVER, I have something they don't: a live-blog of the debate that includes responses from the newest GOP candidate, Horrible Bug Monster (State Senator, R-CA).  Let's see if they're even that weird in this context!

Something missing...

So my addiction to the AMAZING Netflix series Sense8 has begun to enter concerning territory, to the point that I was watching episodes of it instead of writing today's thing.  But it's okay, because I can just cut corners and write a thing about the show! Sort of! If you haven't heard of it, check out this trailer IT'S SO RAD

So bad it's something

Our house is a little crowded right now.  Our cousins from Spain are visiting, and while there are downsides (our house can only fit so many Spaniards, so my brother has had to give up his room), they're easily outweighed by the benefits.  Among them was having more people here that hadn't seen the greatest film of the past fifty years, James Nguyen's Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

More like "A Song of Ice and MIRE" Get it? Because mires are bad

This contains spoilers for A Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, and mentions gross things that happen to women.  Not liking this trend.  Next week I'll write about kittens or something.

No, this is not a critique of the Song of Ice and Fire TV show, A Game of Thrones.  At this point, "critiquing" the show would be like complaining about someone pooping in your salad, except more sexist.  Really? You don't like this obviously horrible thing that happened? Wow! Tell me more!

I played a thing from recent times and here's what I thought: DMC4 ("HD" Edition), DmC: Devil May Cry ("HD" Edition") and Character-Action Games in General

This post talks about self-harm and gross treatment of women, and a bad video game.  Also spoilers for stuff.  You have been warned.
I have a weird relationship with character-action games, beginning with the fact that I'm not even confident "character-action" is a full-fledged genre.

Fourthtelling

I'm not going to apologize for that title.  The Star Wars one I used was already not great and it's pretty hard to get a pun specific enough to what I'm going to talk about as it is without having to base it on a number.  If you can come up with a better one, leave it in the comments, where I pretend to ignore it and keep my inferior title, but secretly foster a deep feeling of shame.

It's been awhile...

HA HA HA DO YOU GET IT

Look I have opinions! Top ten best games of 2014

           Thought you'd seen the last of me, eh? YOU THOUGHT WRONG.  I'm back, and I'm here to stay, for at least another couple days or so! Hah! Take that, remaining two people who remember this exists!